10 ways to score a date with a surfer girl

In a day and age where singles would rather turn to Eharmony and Match.com for their future soulmate/passionate sex partner the act of meeting, wooing, and going through the physical act of getting to know a girl and then taking the time to seduce her in person [without a single e-card or witty instant message conversation] has grown to be somewhat outdated. But in the ocean, technology comes to a grinding halt. If you have a beef with someone who dropped in on you, or snaked your wave you have it out right there in the water, not in an email sent five to six hours after the fact.

So it's fortunate [for you surfer-lusters out there] that surfers are by nature simple creatures. Simple as in they appreciate the small things in life, not simple as in they eat glue. Most surfers already have a significant advantage over mere mortals in scoring [a date] with a surfer girl. Surfers are tanned, have chiseled bodies, sun-bleached hair, and an overall laid-back demeanor that endears them to surfing and non-surfing chicas alike. If you are a non-surfer, or a surfer who doesn't have a clue, here are 10 [relatively] simple ways to get a date with the surfer girl of your dreams.

1. Rock the boardshorts. That means wearing boardshorts that are neither so high that they tie right below your nipples, nor so low that you can see crack. Girls like a little mystery - we've already seen the top half, save some of it for later.

2. Have a mean backside cutback. It's not attractive when your man can't do something well. From the time of the cavemen, if your man couldn't bring home the bacon, you dumped him for a more burly caveperson with a bigger club and better skills. The same goes for surfing. A girl wants her guy to have the biggest, baddest, skills out there. If you can't rip stay at home or on shore [or learn at another spot, very, very quickly].

3. Offer to tow her out. This is a very simple, often overlooked act that will forever ingratiate yourself into the heart of any person [male or female]. After a long surf session, the apple of your eye may be exhausted from all the energy she took out on the waves so offer to give her a lift. If she is one of those fiercely independent types [who you fear will bite your head off if you so much as imply that she can't do anything that you can do] than just settle for paddling beside her … that is, if you can keep up.

4. Purchase her a small token of your affection. Who says money can't buy happiness? For just a dollar, you can go to your nearest surf store [think Town & Country, Pac Sun or Ron Jon's] and pick up a sticker or bar of wax. Present your very cheap, very cute gift to your gal pal and watch her eyes light up. Preferably, such gifts come with a little anecdote – "I was walking through Ron Jon's, saw this sticker and remembered that it was your high school colors" or "The smell of Sticky Bumps always reminds me of you."

5. Take her for a post surfing meal. Not only will this pave the way for future dates [that hopefully don't take place when both of you are exhausted, damp, and salty] but it will give you real-time opportunity to get to know her likes and dislikes. Also, surfer girls can EAT. So don't ask her out if you can't afford [or stomach] to watch her down two entrees AND a dessert in one sitting.

6. Lend a hand. If you see her struggling to make it back out into the lineup on a big day, or notice that she has lost her board all the way on the inside, take the initiative to help her out. Grab the board for her or offer a few pointers to make it around the whitewash. If you notice that one of her friends are having difficulties, do the same for them. If you can get in with her friends, you can probably get in with her.

7. That sexy abdominal muscle. You know, that line that runs from your abs all the way to down there. This is one of those things where you either got it or you don't. If you got it you're up 10 – 150 bonus points. If you don't … get to the gym [or your nearest lap pool] stat.

8. Give her a rubdown. I once read a statistic that said that 3 out of 4 times, massages lead to sex. Surfing can take a lot out of the back muscles [ever notice that surfers have the most exquisitely chiseled backs?] so offer to give her a little massage to relax. Granted it may never lead to the bedroom but she'll probably thank you, one way or another.

9. Let her have the wave. Scenario: You have the inside peak of a nice wave, and see her struggling on the shoulder to get on. LET HER GO. Not every single time of course [or you'll never be able to show her your own skills] but this little nicety will go a long way. A surfer giving away a wave is like an alcoholic giving away a liver. Or something to that effect …

10. Compliment her. It's the safest, easiest and most obvious way to start a conversation with a surfer girl. Compliments indicate that you've taken note of her dazzling skills. Start off with something easy like "nice wave" and hopefully the conversation will just keep on rolling.